The great thing about tax refunds is that if you file your returns early enough, you can get your refund in time to blow it all on March Madness gambling.
But, if you prefer to exhibit some self-control, you can invest in something beyond your vices: your health, well-being and home value.
I know, that’s all super boring compared to filling out an office bracket based on your favorite jersey color and your astrological sign… But read on.
- Pool table: OK, I know we said health, well-being and home value, but we decided instead to start with something that can scratch the gambling itch you missed by opting out of March Madness. Invest your tax refund in a billiards table and you’ll get good enough to hustle unsuspecting novices at the local pool hall like Paul Newman and Jackie Gleason in “The Hustler” or Paul Newman and Tom Cruise in “The Color of Money” (Paul Newman was a pool god before he was a salad dressing god).
- Michael Phelps Swim Spa: Swimming is the best exercise on Earth, and if you do it regularly, you look and feel infinitely better than if you ignore your amphibious side. The problem is, you need a big, giant, expensive, hard-to-maintain pool… No, you don’t.
- Certified pre-owned hot tub: From stress relief to reduced inflammation, everyone knows about the benefits of hydrotherapy. Many people think they can’t afford a hot tub, even with a tax refund… Not necessarily.
- Sauna or steam room: Hmmmm, blow your loot on college hoops, or invest in a rejuvenating chamber of daily detoxification and rebirth … tough call.
- Big Green Egg: Smoke. Natural flavors. Real wood fire. Moisture retention. Ultimate temperature control. It’s time to take back grilling.
So, your tax refund is almost here. What are you going to do with it? You could blow it gambling on unpaid teenagers playing a game that only exists because we need somewhere to put our mutants. Or, you could better yourself, your home and your all-around awesomeness by investing in something that stokes your passions and soothes your soul.